The Beginning (sort of), Chapters 1 and 2

The imaginary water buffalo touched the ground and immediately began bouncing as if it were a flying zebra. Out of its mouth came a thousand blackberries and an Adiemus CD which it had thought was a cookie. Everyone around the water buffalo began running in fear of the terrible berries. The berries were slightly rotten and smelled slightly terrible, and the water buffalo was slightly intoxicated. Unfortunately, a force field suddenly surrounded the water buffalo, the people, and the berries and CD (which was not rotten at all, but slightly scratched). The people panicked and began grabbing berries in fear that they would starve to death. But really, they died of oxygen deprivation first. The End.


Once upon a time, there was a generic fairy tale castle in a run-of-the-mill magical land. The king who ruled there was average, and there were no major problems during his reign except when Joe the Water Buffalo and a crowd of people mysteriously suffocated in the middle of a field. The king was a fuzzy rabbit who liked to do nothing more than eat carrots, but because he owned a large computer company everyone was too afraid that he would make their computers crash if they didn't serve him. Little did they know that he would be just as happy to be an ordinary average rabbit and eat carrots all day under a tree, but he was king because his daughter, Maria, wanted to be queen someday, so she told him that if he became king, she would get straight A's on her next report card. The coronation was soon after, since, although this country had a king, the citizens voted for a new dynasty every 81.4859 years. In fact, the National Astronomical Society was very proud of its ability to time the elections so well.
Anyway, one day the king decided to build a large tower in the middle of his kingdom and place a statue of a water buffalo on top of it as a memorial to the scratched CD (he was a big fan of Adiemus), but the citizens decided to dedicate it to the rotten berries instead (berries were the largest industry in the kingdom, and it wasn't customary to dedicate towers to force field victims). Work on the tower began immediately, but it immediately started to rain, so the citizens decided to play checkers inside while they waited for the rain to stop. To their surprise, the rain didn't stop, but it rained harder and harder until all of the trees exploded from soaking up too much water (they wwere genetically engineered trees designed to prevent flash floods). Suddenly, a flash flood swept over the kingdom, and every village was gone. The End.